I'm going to try my best as I really can't go IP right now. It doesn't matter with an ED anyway. You can go IP, but if you don't want to recover, you just start losing all the weight again once you're out.

That little slither of your mind though where you love being so thin and maybe even thinner would be great...!

I've had periods of recovery and relapse, recovery and relapse. As far as relapse goes, this is the 2nd worst one I've had. Maybe I should see a nutritionist or try out (yet another) ED therapist?

For now, since I hit the $7500 deductible on my crappy insurance (even if I haven't officially paid those places off - trauma surgeons, hospital, ambulance), it's met as far as the insurance is concerned, and now they cover all of my medical costs 100%, except alternative medicine (chiropractor, acupuncture, etc.) is covered at 80%. But a nutritionist would probably be fully covered. I'd have to find one who works with EDs though and not focusing on people with diabetes, or heart disease, and such. Maybe I'll call around tomorrow. I hate nutritionist appointments and ED therapy too. However, pdoc is not at all happy with my weight, and I can't go IP. He told me either I have to turn it around, or I'll end up having it turned around for me.

It is really frustrating when you know exactly what you need to do and yet can't bring yourself to do it.

And then, the stupid ED thinking will go, "Well, you're still getting your period, you're not THAT sick." Although, honestly, in college when my ED was its very worst, it took me awhile to lose my period in college, a very low weight compared to many with anorexia.

With all that, though, I forgot to mention to the pdoc about the typing words backwards issue. Next time I will. Hopefully, I can make the 2 weeks and not need to go in early or call again. I feel like I am being a very whiny, moody patient, and really, that is not usually me.