It is super smart to be setting boundaries for yourself! As for dealing w/ her, I find that if I visualize people's words as objects and think of the positive things as something I want to pick up and cherish and the negative things as trash that I wouldn't ever pick up unless I was just putting it in the trash can, it helps me. I often remind myself, it is a choice to pick up verbal trash and this has helped me deal w/ toxic roommates that I have been stuck w/ in the past, and my Mom when I have had to have vacations w/ her as an adult. Hang in there!