I saw my pdoc today. Last summer and this summer I've had the same psychotic issues involving vulgar music playing in my head, just a few weeks later this year than last. It's nearly constant and competes with racing thoughts. Which are better than they were but still there after I did a 4 day pulse of increased clozapine 2 weeks ago. I do not want more clozapine as the pulse showed me that a higher dose makes me extremely sedated.

I've also been having dizzy spells whenever I bend over, so much that I have to grab something until I can see again when I stand up. So we're going to try decreasing my klonopin a little bit. Apparently my state is starting to track gabapentin similarly to benzos so ideally I'll just be on that eventually. In the past we've talked about this and klonopin will be withdrawn very slowly and only as tolerated. I have to finish this week's pill box off as I have another pill that looks a lot like klonopin and I don't want to mess things up decreasing that dose instead of klonopin.

I feel so much better after talking to both my therapist and pdoc about what is going on in my head. It makes me want to scream and I have done so in the past "STOP IT!!" which helps briefly but scares my cats.

And now I'm very tired after my 5.5 hours of driving so hope I make sense.