I'm sorry for being so negative and I'm sorry if I have turned anyone against integration or have scared them away from wanting it.It's just that I have so much **** going on in my life that's too much to deal with.I have no choice to though,I have to face it all and deal with all of it.

My emotions are what's hardest to deal with.i have to feel all the hurt and pain,all the fear and disappointment and all the sadness.And it's all so intense that I feel like I will not make it sometimes.