My mother died in December, just before Christmas, from Alzheimer's Dementia. She was a very abusive, violent woman. I'll spare other members the gory details.

Despite that, as she was dying, I held her hand, talked to her, bathed her, read to her, for the 12 hours it took for her to find peace. I only stopped to use the bathroom and have a banana and some coffee.

As time has gone by since her death I've realized that I loved her despite it all. More and more I sob, endure sleepless nights, depressing days.

It is only my sister and me now. She lives halfway across the country. Everyone else is dead. We are only in our 50's.

I am in such despair tonight. I cannot stop crying.

Just wanted to talk about it a bit.

I apologize if the formatting is messed up. Something is whacked with my software.