I had a huge, painful blow-up with my T, not about hugs but about something similar that she refuses to give me. I decided to stay and work through it because she had been a good therapist up to that point and I felt like I had more work to do with her. There are huge, obvious parallels between my T's refusal and other people in my life who have neglected me and let me down, which is why it hurts so much. At times it has been incredibly painful to talk about with her, so I sometimes let it go for a while until I can bring it back up again. It has also deepened and strengthened our relationship for me to be brutally honest with her about my feelings of rejection, and she has been steady and open to talking through it without being defensive.

I don't know that there is a right or wrong answer here, but I do know that getting in touch with primal pain can be a powerful, overwhelming thing. It can help you push forward or it can be needlessly painful. I think there could be other ways to talk about how your therapist can meet those needs for you and/or help you meet them yourself inside or outside of therapy, however that might look. I also think just understanding the strength of your reaction can be illuminating. But I wouldn't blame you for walking away if it's just too unbearable to proceed without hugs.