Hey you don't need to apologize for ranting sharing "being negative" or anything. It is so okay to say it how it is for you in this moment. Its okay if its going to be different at a different time. It sounds so overwhelming for you right now. I dont know any "right things" to say but I do know you are welcome to share and there are lots of people here willing to listen in the best ways they know how.
hang in there.