I have the same problem with my husband. I just basically have given up on trying to run my life and just clean up after him when I get the chance. I told him that basically I'm here to help him, be his "helpmeet," as the Christians call it. I resent how much I get taken advantage of, but I'm so fustrated that I get in a really bad funk, so I ignore the feelings and just move on. Not a great coping mechanism, but it's better than imagining the alternative (I have trouble with SI).