I don't know if I'd call my request a need. My T has denied hugs and that was hard but not as painful as when she denied taking my hand and either me or her lead us to her office. That was extremely painful for me. We had a super long session, I stayed almost an hour after processing it. It was really good that I did stay and process it with her. I usually don't stick around and process this hurt with whomever says no and it usually erodes the relationship. She was very compassionate with me without changing her stance, without becoming defensive, or bargaining with me. After that session, I came home and cried myself to sleep. As it stands right now, we do handshakes and I don't have to be concerned with incidental contact.

There are times I am still sad about that no, sad that it won't happen, that I won't get to experience it. It did not cause a rupture, I think it did help me in the long run.

You posted a response about it not costing him (them) anything. What it if would cost him something to hug you? I feel you are assuming that there isn't a price to pay. Maybe he personally has touch issues or isn't the hugging type, maybe he's put in the strict guideline because it helps him keep the objectivity that he needs to do his job, perhaps he has history of it not going well... and perhaps he was just trained not to do it so he has all kinds of internal concerns about it.

Like other's have said, this seems like a really good place to be in your therapy - painful yes, at the crux or crossroad as well. Good luck whichever way you choose.

ps - I just asked for another "unusual" request today and will find out on Thursday as she considers it. And yeah, I don't know how I'll take this no, if that is what she decides.