Quote:
Originally Posted by tomatenoir
nikon Hmmm...it's not so much 'mattering' or 'being important' as 'wanting to know I exist to him and that he seems me as a human being worthy of compassion for the hour we are together'.
I've had therapists with poor boundaries as well – and as much as I want to punch my therapist right now, I'd rather have a therapist a little too rigid than one who has no professionalism whatsoever.
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in my situation mattering meant the same to me as being seen as a human being worthy of compassion. still, getting hugged, although it felt nice for a moment, did not mean that the therapist had true compassion. she did many things that were cruel, but the fact that she was ok with hugging me blurred the lines so much that i accepted the bad treatment because i believed that she truly cared. and if she truly cared, how could i question her treatment of me?
with my therapist who has never touched me, i actually do feel that he has true compassion for me. i think if i asked to be hugged he would say no, because it would break a lot of boundaries and start to blur the lines between a professional/client relationship and a more intimate relationship.