I was ok with everything pretty much until a couple of months ago when some very extreme,life changing events happened.My whole world has been turned upside down.I know that what I am and have been going through would be hard for any person,not just me.I'm suddenly left on my own to fend for myself,basically homeless and I am really having a hard time learning how to completely take care of myself.And I'm not exactly young either,Im just an old woman and I am having to start over with absolutely nothing.

It's just hard.Things are just very hard right now.And no amount of medication would fix it or change it for me.I just have to do the things I need to do and learn as I go.I have never been alone before.I have been married since I was 18 years old.Now Im suddenly alone and it's frightening.I'm sure I'm much better off not being DID but it just seems like if I still was all this might be easier to deal with.DID is a disorder but it's such an effective coping mechanism that people with it can go through life without other people even knowing it.It's like a well oiled machine that even though there's many problems that go along with it,a person with it can still work,raise a family and do all the other things pretty much that other people do.A way to exist despite all the bad things that happened,and a way to hide all those bad things from the person.

I know what I am going through isn't really considered a trauma but it still feels pretty traumatic to me.And my old coping skills are gone and I have to manage on my own.

End of rant....

Thank you all for listening.