It doesn't really look like I will. My previous relationship was very damaging sexually. Hell, even though he loved me and was attracted to me, it was very difficult to seduce him. He generally wanted to have sex with me if he had time so there's that. So four years with someone I had intercourse with (the first and only) and I still don't really know what intercourse is like. I still feel shame for what I'm interested in sexually from some of his reactions and I'm not sure I'll be able to admit to someone else what I like so they also don't think I'm disgusting.

In general, I have no ability to flirt, seduce, or in any way get someone interested in me. I can't really do anything. I had low confidence and self-esteem before the breakup, but it's at an all time low now.

I have five years of sexual experience but feel like I have none. I don't have friends who would available for a FWB arrangement in the future. There's no way I'd ever date again after this last relationship...I'm not sure if the good parts of a relationship are worth how horrible it feels when it ends. Everything in my life is ruined. I can't enjoy anything I want to or used to enjoy. I have such a strong sex drive that I often obsess over the idea, but I'm almost too traumatized (if that's the right word) to ever have sex again. That's if I ever find someone attracted enough to me.