I see my psychiatrist today. I love seeing him, because I adore him, but I wish I had something more positive to say to him. I have not really been feeling that well lately. I've been in bed most of the time, with little energy, and have abandoned some "step forward" type plans. I don't exactly think I'm depressed. I don't feel "depressed". I feel just low energy, unmotivated, or as they say in Czech "fnuk". Or even double "fnuk". "Fnuk" is a word that has no good equivalent in English. It isn't quite "blah", because the word conveys a feeling shi*ty type feeling, but not specifically physically, but more mentally and attitude. I guess shi*ty is the closest word.

Sometimes I get so sick of "almost" making some progress, but then not. It's frustrating, and getting way old. There are times when I wonder sometimes what my psychiatrist thinks about this tendency. Very often when he sees me my mood is very "up", then "down", then "up", then "up" again, then "down". Boo!