KnitChick;

Thanks for your support. First as to the "friend" I am not I want to know. I learned over the last few months that he has a textbook immature-dependent personality disorder; having such, its hard for me to believe that the new person is a platonic friend. That it was my ex-BF's idea to have no in-person contact seems to reinforce this.

However, if you don't mind I would like you opinion on asking about the nature of this new friend.

I am in therapy, psychiatrist for my Bipolar Disorder (she also provides some counseling) but is out-of network, so I pay $250 out of pocket per visit and now only see her once every three months. I have a psychologist with a similar problem and I can only afford to see him once a month. I am trying to find a good in-network psychologist.

I am not trying to get him back and I will not seek revenge. Instead of being immature, I am trying to be mature despite my Borderline traits. First, I need to resolve the eBay business. His art inventory comes from a client of mine who owns maybe 100,000 works of art of all kinds. My ex-was on eBay stuff priced under $500 and I am adding more pricey art to my own business. The more important matter is that my-Ex's has no references other than my client, myself and a relationship manager.

• He ask to keep using my Adobe subscription -- I said yes.

• If he needs references -- no problem.

• If he needs a resume, I will help.

I want it all business. I don't want to know what he is doing or what I am doing. However, given the following trait of dependent personality disorder, I may be in a rough ride.

People with this disorder do not trust their own ability to make decisions and feel that others have better ideas. They may be devastated by separation and loss, and they may go to great lengths, even suffering abuse, to stay in a relationship. They may tend to belittle their abilities and frequently refer to themselves as "stupid." Other symptoms include:

• Difficulty making decisions without reassurance from others
• Extreme passivity
• Problems expressing disagreements with others
• Avoiding personal responsibility
• Avoiding being alone
• Devastation or helplessness when relationships end
• Unable to meet ordinary demands of life
• Preoccupied with fears of being abandoned
• Easily hurt by criticism or disapproval
• Willingness to tolerate mistreatment and abuse from others

He has all of the above.

My psychologist is very good at "moving forward" and tries to move focus from grieving.

The additional psychologist that I am considering seems (from his website) to allow time for grieving before moving forward. I want somebody to know what I saw in my Ex and why I miss him.