Quote:
Originally Posted by TeaVicar?
He has crossed the line many many times and seems to think that he can carry on being your therapist, pretending nothing happened. Even if he is no longer behaving inappropriately, the fact that he refuses to acknowledge what he did is very problematic. Therapists do F up but the good ones should be able to acknowledge it and apologise... and most likely refer you to a new therapist, to mitigate any further damage.
What do you think he will say if you confront him? What do you want him to say? Going by his previous behaviour, you might not get the response you hope for. Could you find someone else, along side seeing him, just while you are able to detach from him?
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Thanks TeaVicar: I went to see him for an unusual reason (church abuse), and since he was also...a pastor, was well-versed in spiritual abuse.....He did something for me that no one ever did....stood up for me. That in itself was powerful. I don't need another therapist, as the issue was resolved.
I have no idea what he will say when I confront him; and that makes me fearful. I have only one question for him: WHY did you lead me on, et.....What I would want him to say is: I did it because..........I don't want an apology; that would mean nothing. Aside from the ethics he violated, the fact that years ago when I told him of my feelings for him, he said: "I am deeply in love with my wife." In that aspect, how if you love someone could you do that?! This went on for 10 years and then he stopped without any explanation. I stayed because of my feelings for him; knowing of course it was unhealthy.
As an aside awhile ago I mentioned to him that he said: "If I were not married I would probably go for it (he did not deny it), but said: "That was then." That felt like a slap in the face.
Thank you for your comments; they are so appreciated!