Dear T: I am quite grateful for the session today. I noticed how easy it was to say what had been bothering me about your offhanded remarks about how I've probably heard this story before. I liked my straightforwardness and your lack of defensiveness, which I would have expected even if I bungled or accused or tried to mind read or over interpret what you have been saying to me. I like the way I was able to raise the issue with you, linking it to my social network and some of the ways I've been upping my honesty with them, inviting people to check out what I think or believe and refusing to let them mind read me. It was helpful to me to hear myself be so clear that I wanted to know what this was about, that I didn't think it was about me, but that I wanted to check with you.

And I am sorry about the answer, as it relates to the changing of your memory and a fear that you have told the same stories like an old person. I wish you didn't have to feel that your memory is not as good as it used to be, even though I think it is very hard to remember who you've told what story to. Like last year, when a friend I catch up with on the phone every year or two stopped me mid story and said, "what? [Your H] died?" I was sure I had told her and the idea that I went three or so years without telling her seems impossible to make sense of, I am sure I assumed that I had told her or I remembered telling her.

But of course what you said was about you, not me. Of course you weren't thinking that I should run along and stop wasting your time every week, or that I should switch to a therapist who had new stories to tell me.

I feel like something has shifted inside me, like I've grown an inch or two, that I've matured into a person who can keep a relationship without freaking out about one thing or another. I've ditched the drama and am more interested just in making things work and learning more and more about how to talk about difficult subjects in a way that honors the relationship. I used to think I sucked at relationships and now I think I'm pretty good at them. Today's session let me understand in a concrete way that I like who I am in relation to other people, I like how I treat other people and I like who I am when I am with other people. Maybe I've turned into the person I've wanted to be when I grew up. Thank you for helping me do what I've wanted to do.