My advice is to believe what he tells you. You can't read his mind, or control what he does. All you really know is what he tells you, and he's telling you that he is not in love with you. He doesn't want a relationship. Believe him. Please.


I know how tempting it is to believe that he'll one day change, or see how much effort you put in to knowing him, or that his problem is just x y and z... But he's telling you very clearly how he feels. It's not fair to him to write that off as his illness.


If I'm totally honest, I think you should take a break from this relationship. I don't think it's healthy to keep waiting for a change. The relationship you have in your head is based on your guesses about how he really feels, despite what he says, and healthy relationship can't be built on that.