If he really loved his wife, would he have been sexual with you? Even if this never became physical, if it was only verbal and emotional, he cheats on his wife by doing what he does with you.
If this was simply a man you had a personal relationship with and he taunted you for years with emotional/sexual dynamics, then this has been an emotional affair. But this man abused his power and professional position to boot. You have been in an emotional affair with, I believe, a narcissist.
Nicole, you are the one who recommended The Verbally Abusive Relationship, which I read and it helped me greatly. In this case, you are in a verbally abusive relationship, only he doesn’t spew curse words at you. Instead he molests you with sexual words and teases you to thinking he loves you. He doesn’t love anyone but himself. He abuses you and his wife.
I’m so sorry you are experiencing this.
Sure, you can confront him, and maybe that will help you move on and feel better. But, don’t expect him to say anything that will satisfy you. Expect him to dish out more BS.