Hi Pearl. You are far from being alone with such thinking, and I know that anxiety is very common for people with bipolar disorder. The type of thinking you describe is the cause of my major anxiety and barriers to getting back to any kind of major work. Please do give yourself major kudos for what you have been doing, which is more than I have managed to do in recent years.

I guess I feel a little odd offering suggestions to someone further along in recovery than me, but I do know that cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) has helped me most in taking baby steps forward. I hope you have a therapist you can work with.