Ariana;

I just went thru a situation where out of the blue, mv ex-BF left me -- as we were planning for him to move into my place. He was depressed and suffers from dependent personality disorder. He claims the issue was age, as I am 15 years older than him.

Monday I hd counseling session with my psychologist; I am Bipolar with Borderline traits. Save for some hypomania (the good kind, lol) my Bipolar is under control. The Borderline is only partially under control. My psychologist told me Borderlines and Dependents are a match made in heaven!

Of course during our break-up conversation he told me he loved me but was concerned about 10 and 20 years from now. He has no job (I supported hims, see my thread Boyfriend is depressed and dumped me...), lives at home, and is depressed. However, another person is involved, but I don't know the details.

First, you must make an honest inventory of both of you. Be honest, even if it means being painful, or makes your Ex look bad and be honest with yourself.

Then, consider the relationship. My psychologist said good relationship end civilly without third-parties (neither left abruptly or for another person). My guess is another person was involved; people with psychological problems, other than avoidance, never leave without another person in their life.

My guess is this other person dumped him, or for whatever reason, he is unsure about this relationship and both testing the waters with you or simply seeking comfort.

Regardless, he displays the same behavior as before; nothing changed and nothing will. Why, Bipolar is a psychiatric disorder. This may be under control but he also has a psychological disorder that does not seem resolved and psychological problems are often more difficult to treat than psychiatric ones.

John

PS - what is your problems that keep you on the hook?