Quote:
Originally Posted by divine1966
I don’t think him being depressed is an issue here. 28 year old not having a job and living at home should be enough warning that he isn’t dating material. In addition if he has no job asking to live with you pretty much asking if you’d take him as a so called “kept” man. Those are all major red flags. I honestly wouldn’t worry about why he is how he is but look into patterns of why would you choose someone like that? Is there a pattern? Do you oftedste people like that? Do you try to save them?
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Divine;
You are very, very wise. It started as a few hookups in early December of 2014. Then, he went home to South America for about 90 days but kept messaging me on Whatsapp. When he returned, I started seeing him more.
Yes, I saw him as a lost puppy looking for a home. And he had a warmth and kindness about him that I found attractive. And when when I saw his Pinterest Board, I was floored as many of his pins are things I own (minerals), art, and places I had been. I thought I had a soul mate.
My Bipolar depression was not yet in remission so I guess that was part of it. I am (was) an avid cyclist but medications left me dizzy and I could not ride with my friends.
He is very shy and was uncomfortable around my friends; he had none in the USA except family (he came here in 2012). Thus, I became isolated with him.
But there was one area he was not shy: acting out sexually. Now, I will be brutally honest. When he came back from Peru, I looked at his back one day and noticed a big rash -- Syphilis. A few months later, he gave me Gonorrhea. Shoot me.
I tried any number of ways to get him a job and his Citizenship. His act must work well on others because he found a new "friend" that came out of nowhere -- I had no warning whatsover. No hint he wanted to leave me. In fact, he was in the process of moving in with me. I am humiliated and angry that for all he passive-aggression toward me, he is suddenly doing everything that I was trying to help with.
I Wanted love and companionship; so did he. He is not the problem. I am my problem
John
Thank you very much. Your honesty is a big help.