Well, I woke up without such a heavy weight on my chest today, and walked around with one of my best friends who got some time off from her babies while her husband watched them. She is one of those friends with whom I immediately feel happier and more grounded when I see her. But, I don't feel right still. Hard to explain, but think I could spiral into some dark and unsafe thinking at any turn, if that makes sense. It's not being able to trust myself and my perception of the world that is really messing with me. Kind of like I have been on roller coaster in the dark, and even get scared of myself sometimes. I am catching up with another couple of friends tonight, so that will keep me busy and distracted. Hopefully lift my mood, too. Appointment with my psychiatrist in a week so we can discuss where I am and more plans. Not sure what I want to do anymore with meds, therapy, etc. Wish I could fast forward to really understanding what will help me.