I am still at the it ruined my life phase. I am still angry and sad about it. But, since it has been a few years now, I have gotten better. I have learned to create some normalcy. I find that I am able to bounce back from things better by doing things that make me happy, even if its not the healthiest. For instance, I love food, so when I am down I may eat more than usual and in that moment I feel better, so I am able to bounce back quicker. I guess that part of the illness I accept (the ups and downs), because I know I will never be where I was, so if I do something detrimental (as long as it does not affect other people) I don't feel as bad.