So why does letting people get to know me often lead me to more isolation? If I want to fit in, I have to not be myself.

How would I think I'm lovable if there really isn't anyone willing to love me. They'll love who I'm SUPPOSED to be (as in normal, straight, and completely cisgendered). I feel awful that I fell in love with a straight man and even worse that I wasn't good enough to earn his love the rest of my life.