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coralproper: I see that the only people aloud to get support here are christans and those receptive to thinking and believing like them

heck, I consider myself christan, but know making that statement here opens the door for attack on my belief in that, since most probably wont consider my train of thought acceptable to standard christan veiws

... I was just looking for company (support) from the many I know visit here but are afraid to talk about how they feel .........

I recall when you first arrived on this site coralproper, that you noted you came from a background that was predominantly Christian. Within that environment, you'd often felt judged, condemned, and not heard. Part of the benefit in your arrival here seems to have been your exposure to others who did not judge and condemn you and allowed you the opportunity to begin sorting through some of your own thoughts about your relationship to Divinity. I can see where this would be very valuable to you. To draw a comparison...

I've also seen some people arrive here who had utterly terrible childhoods. In spite of the fact that mommies and daddies are supposed to be good people who love their children, they didn't get those kind of mommies and daddies. It is tremendously validating and healing for such individuals to connect with others who can identify with their experience and give them the space to explore it. Not all parents are loving parents even if we might all agree that they should be.

However, some people are very sensitive to that subject being openly discussed. It might trigger some sensitivity they have about their own parenting style or history -- they might take it personally and protest that the discussion is taking place at all. If that discussion is shut down however, what does it do to the individual who was learning, perhaps for the first time, that maybe they weren't horribly flawed, maybe they were going to be okay as a human being, that maybe the truth as it had been presented to them wasn't the truth at all?

No one can have our answers for us because no one else has our particular questions. We should all be free to discover our own relationship with truth as we define truth to be. We should all be free to seek out the company and support of others who can assist us in that process. And we should all remember that God does not need to be defended. When we speak on God's behalf, we are more often defending our own very human vulnerabilities and desires. Religion is a human construction; Divinity is not.

I would hope you can continue your explorations here coralproper, with those individuals you recognize as helpful and supportive to you. If you cannot however, you are still free to develop your own relationship to God, Higher Power, Divinity, Allah, the Absolute, the Tao, the All, the Creator, the Divine Architect or whatever other name fits best for you. No one can ever take that from you.

Best of luck to you in your journeys.