My friend and I have been friends for over 14 years now, since we met in college. Three months ago, she got engaged. We both have really hectic work schedules so 2 days ago was the first time I had seen her since the engagement. She was telling me about wedding planning over dinner. I casually asked if they’re doing just maid of honor and best man (since they want a small wedding), or are doing a wedding party. She says the following:

“Listen, the thing is that Rob could only think of 3 friends that he wanted to be groomsmen so I could only pick 3 bridesmaids. I chose X because she’s my childhood friend and I asked Y and Z from our college. Sorry, if I had another spot, I would have definitely asked you, but I don’t. Sorry.”

I was really hurt. We took most of our classes together in college (unlike with the other two), have traveled together over the years and try to keep up on each other’s lives despite whatever craziness is happening. We’re even in the midst of planning a trip together now. For the past year, despite me being painfully single and depressed about it, every time we met up, she would inevitably take me to some jewelry store to help her look at engagement rings to narrow down what kind she wants to receive from her boyfriend (now fiance). I did it because I was happy that her relationship was moving in that direction. It’s silly, but I don’t have many friends and I always considered that she would be a bridesmaid in my wedding whenever I get married.

Also, the fact that the issue was that her fiance couldn’t think of a 4th guy to be a groomsman sounds like real BS. He has four brothers he’s close with (only one is in the bridal party as best man) and a host of cousins. If I was really as important to her as she is to me, I’m sure they could have thought of a 4th guy to “throw in there” as a groomsman. It’s not like she’s buying the bridesmaid dresses or that they cost a lot of money. The bridesmaids are each buying themselves a casual $15 dress she selected on Amazon.