tonight I am going to a funfair

their is one near me and it's here for a few days, and I really want to go (tick it off the bucket list)

but I am really anxious:

first up, their's the crowds. I looked up on youtube videos of funfairs, and even they are too loud... far too scary (and i'm not even their, I'm at home in my room)

secondly, their's the prospect of the rides and not enjoying the sensation
people tell me that they "shake you about", and I don't have a problem with that, I guess, I have a problem more with the fact it's out of my control- and it will only stop when the ride stops, also how fast the shaking is

my third worry is safety and that I might fall out of the ride or something

do they do safety checks?. I don't know.

I want to do this because it came here a few months ago and I was too scared to do it

I still am, I guess, but missing out on it twice just isn't fair.

so I'm going to try. I am really going to try- even if it's just me standing outside the fair ground listening to what's going on.

I feel sick to my stomach though and I feel a panic attack coming on.