thank you for that ,spiritualemergency ...... it was a great discovery for me I thought ...... but just as I started to get comfortable..... I learned there probably is no place for people like me here in public forum, I am however grateful to meet the few I have met .... and would love to have had the oppertunity to meet more ....

but I don't think I am really welcome here in a christain dominated forum, but hey, I am not welcome in my christain dominated community either (the church) with my apparently damaged mind, so this comes at no suprise to me