I don't think it helps that you've negative tapes from childhood rewinding themselves and replaying as far as moving past them into knowing deep down at your core that it's just not true. I don't believe in intelligence being wholly superficial. The ability to grasp learning isn't something everyone is born with, so I'm a bit miffed at your upbringing in that regard. Did their resentment at life's lemons trickle down to how you were treated? If your social iq was lacking then that falls on how you were socialized to begin with. Have you looked into some of the recovery work throughs for CEN? One step at a time each day, right? It's so easy to want to crawl inside one's shell.
Maybe start with the next Forest Gump reference-shaking your head and saying that's just not right! And turn and walk away.