I have a former T from more than 15 years ago who helped me so much through a lot of difficult trauma work. I ended because I though I was done, and I was (for 15 years). But I moved a couple of years after we ended, but I sometimes wrote to her, sometimes talked on the phone, sometimes visited her on the rare occasions I was back in town, once with my infant son.

When I asked if I could write her and she said yes, but she would not reply to my letters. Not even a one line response, I asked? She said "I will respond in the sense that I will read and hear what you say, your words will live inside me. If you need me to tell you that I hear you, you can call and we can talk on the phone. You are always welcome to come back and see me, too."

So I guess what it felt like to me is that there is a "response" in the sense of writing back, which my T was not willing to do and I understood that was her boundary. But I knew my words just weren't going into the air, that she responded to what I wrote in terms of hearing it. Knowing I would be heard even though it would not be in writing, the way I wanted it, really helped me.

I don't always get the exact response I want from other people, but sometimes it is just enough for me to say what is on my mind. I do believe we impact others with our words even if they never tell us, including our T's.

From the connection you describe you have with your former T, I do think your feelings have gone somewhere, to her. That she has read them and understands them. Just because she doesn't write back, that is still true.