when i ws 4 and my brother was born my mom had to dedicate him more attention because he was always sick. i understand it but a part of this much have laid latent in me all these years and if its not about my brother its about others now…

i have explored this multiple times with T. ex T and mom too... and i understand it all rationally, but i cant help feeling what i feel.

same goes for envying others for having what i'll never have…

i feel the biggest loser with only one way out