I've been self harming for quite some time now. It's not severe like I think about doing it every second of the day, but only when my bad side comes out and I flip out and have my 'episodes' and I can't help doing it.
If I have a really bad episode and do end up self harming, I usually 'black out' and cant control or even have feelings for my actions until I either draw too much blood, or wake up the next morning and think "what the hell have I done??!"

Anyhow, I have found out now that when I do feel an episode coming on, instead of flipping out at myself and doing that, Once or twice I have thought to myself "Right, I'm going to hurt myself anyway because I cant control it, so I might aswell just take a deep breath and do it in a 'controlled' way..." And then its all over and done with.

Do you think this is a better approach to it? By just doing it before I have a full blown attack? I kind of feel more powerful and in control of it by doing this because I know what I'm doing, but at the end of the day I'm still self-harming under my terms, like Im choosing to do it in a way instead of losing control and letting it take over ME.

let me know what you all think please x baby g x