Wow I have a similar story.. I was abused for years by my older brother.... Learned much later on my mother had been abused too..... I guess in a morbid way it made us closer because we had eachother to talk and relate to.... When my mom died I had to deal with my abuser... He knew my mother knew.... he was still an asshiole . You are correct in feeling like you do... IT has afffected your life... My life has been dsysfunctional and I have never had the space and time to deal and process any of what happened to me.. I feel like my life has been wasted in a horrible bubble. Ignoring it..suppressing it... It always comes out one way or another.... No one can understand what its like .. I took it slow.. saw a therapist and just talked abut whatever..It tool 3 years to get the anger out and learn a way to try and deal with triggers and all the things that we deal with... I have never slept a full nite. I didnt include any of my family for therapy.. I left town and isolated myelf and devoted the time to me. You have to work on you first.. then incorperate loved ones ect