Thanks for the support . I feel a bit stupid with this post but it's helping me in some way.

So I managed to find a bit of food that I have left and I managed to clean the pots and pans and most of the dishes and I was able to cook a nice meal.
I also washed the clothes I have been living in for ages and found something else I can wear for now .

I still have so much more to do and I feel like a failure that I didnt do more BUT yesterday I wasn't able to do anything at all nor the day before and for several days before that . TODAY was the first time in a long while that I was able to do at least something towards making my invironment around me better which will inturn help me feel me feel better .
I have a long way to go .
I'm still in a dark hole .
I still have lots to worry about .
But I did something today . Something positive for my well being .
I still didn't take out the bags of rubbish .
It's night time now so that will have to wait till tomorrow .
Hopefully I will achieve more than that tomorrow but even if it's only one thing it's better than yesterday and better than those other days before that .