((((Arbie)))) Identified Patient-- being the layperson that I am within the psych community--there's a term for my hunch? (Re:resentment of life's lemons)

Absolutely, of course you struggled in picking a better for you partner in your first marriage. Of course you're still seeing things through their distorted points of views. It's not easy to rebuild self value nor to put a "new tape"(or record) on for self affirming points of views. One step at a time.