Sorry you're still feeling really depressed.

Are you on meds and/or in therapy? I've noticed that you've been depressed for a very, very long time. You deserve to feel happy, especially after the wringer your abusive mom's been putting you through throughout the years.

Try not to get upset that you didn't get anything done at the fair. The fact you went is a huge accomplishment on its own. Lots of people who are depressed tend to isolate themselves, but you took the right steps by getting out of your flat and doing something positive for yourself.