You are amazing! So good to read this. You've tiptoed around your feelings based on crappy past experiences and now it's your time. It must feel so liberating. I've not done as many things as you but FWIW I did a PhD while working FT and it is possible. I now work part time as I'm a carer for my mum. My thing is motorbikes rather than music, but hey! Live your life, and ENJOY!