Quote:
Originally Posted by katydid777
I can so relate to what you have said here. My H, and I have been maried for 25 years. He has smoked from the first day I met him. He came from a broken disfunctional family, but is very dominate. He won't get MH treatment for his issues. I see a T, and a P Doc for my issues, and do most of the things you have listed. So far the only boundary I have set, was a few months ago we were arguing about his mom staying with us, and she is a total narcasist, anyway he ended up putting a hole in our bed room door, and I called the cops on him. He has been good so far from that time, but he still don't do anything to help me in any way, unless it benifits him. I guess I just wanted you to know you are not alone, and if you wan't you can send me a friend request.  |
That was a very big step for you to call the police.
In the spring my husband had a very rough hospitalization. He was very angry. It was the first time he had really been like that when in inpatient. His mother had been coming to our house from out of state to stay for 1-3 weeks at a time to "help out". It was nice of her, and in a way nice to have the support but on the other hand, made for a very strange environment. She always wanted to "troublshoot" and try to problem solve with me. "Maybe if we try this...maybe if we try that". I was growing tired of doing this, especially since I had been living this for years already and had already seemingly "tried" everything. She was in town to...distract him...make dinner. In her eyes, take the burden off of me a little and keep him busy (I think). Still-it is a lot having to pretend you are okay all the time because your in law is there. I couldn't REALLY talk to my husband. Etc.
SO--the point of me giving you that background is--when my husband was in the hospital, his mother wanted to come to stay. The hospital is about an hour from our house and visiting takes place for ONE hour a day. So...she would have come here just to spend one hour with him and would have been with me the rest of the time. So...I told my husband I really didn't think the timing was right and when he was released it would be best for us to work on our relationship and focus on developing a routine. Well--he was so upset with me. He claimed I was "taking his family away from him." I assure you that was not the case. He kept arguing and guilt tripping me that we see my family all the time.
My parents live in the same city...though I talk to my dad almost daily on the phone, I only see him every few weeks and when he does stop by...it's for about 10 minutes....not 3 weeks. Same goes with my mom.
So--that was and is yet another issue that happened.