Series of email exchanges with Dr. T. Background: Last time I saw him was two Fridays ago. Then I went on vacation. We talked on the phone for a half hour on Wednesday. Then he went away. I'm used to seeing him twice a week, so the 11 days has felt really long (see him tomorrow). And he lent me a different stone (my choice) to take with me to the beach, since I was anxious for assorted reasons.

Friday night: Me: "Hi Dr. T,

A few things before next session. First, I think we need to talk about what I believe is dissociation (maybe derealization?), both currently and in childhood.

Second, I collected a bunch of shells at the beach. Would it be OK to bring a tiny one to add to the sand tray? (If not, it's OK!)

Finally, I know I'm due to return the stone Tuesday. Because that was the deal. But I wish I didn't have to give it back yet. I feel really sad when I think about setting it back in the sand tray. I want you to say, "It's fine, you can hold onto it!" But maybe that's asking too much? To answer your next question, yes, that's me asking you a question. But if you say no, I understand and will return it on schedule.
Thanks,
LT."
Sunday morning (he has always replied within 24 hours in the past, even when out of town):
T: "All good things to talk about on Tuesday. Also, for Tuesday would it be possible to shift our appointment time to either 11am or 1pm?"

Me: "I can do 11 a.m. Tuesday."

Me: "And I guess I wanted to know your answers to the shell and stone before Tuesday to avoid potentially having to deal with rejection in person. Or to spend the whole session trying to explain or justify why I'd want either of those things."

T: In response to the above email (not the time one): "Thank you - confirmed for Tuesday at 11am."

Sunday night:

Me: "It bothers me that you seem to have just ignored my other email, but it's a holiday weekend, so I shouldn't expect too much from you. I'll just return the stone Tuesday and not give a shell or anything. Then we can just go forward with therapy."

Monday morning:
Me: "I'm sorry, we'll talk Tuesday. Have a good Labor Day."

T: "LT,
I had originally tried to be clear that I was only responding to email in the mornings, but perhaps my reply regarding our schedule muddied things. Your replies have increased the number of things to talk about. I do not have a problem with your keeping the stone. Also, I have no problem with you putting something into the sand garden provided I have right-of-refusal if I don't like the way it looks aesthetically.

I realize that this gap in sessions has been a challenge, so I am assuming that some the tone and urgency of your emails comes from feeling that space. I intend on spending at least a little time talking about your perception of how your emails are likely to affect someone - and I will share how they effected me. I realize that you will probably be anxious thinking about that conversation, but know that I see this as an opportunity to learn and continue your growth and awareness. Also, hold in mind that I would not be OK with your keeping the stone and adding a shell if I was truly upset or mad at you. All will be well, and I have confidence in our ability to work this through in a positive manner."
--

Of course now I'm really nervous about tomorrow's session...