Hmm, a lot of very interesting stuff in that quote. I disagree that the job of the client is to fall in love and free associate. I appreciate the kind of "clean," "simplistic" aphorism the guy's going for, but... it sounds a little too much like romantic partnership, and I don't pay people to simulate that.

I disagree that the therapist always knows about transference before you do. That assumes therapy clients are less emotionally intelligent than I'm sure most of us are. And I bet many therapists project just as much as the clients do and think the client is in love with them when that isn't at all the case. That's a classic example of therapist arrogance that I find frustrating and off-putting.

I also disagree that treatment should only be discussed in therapy! Wow! Reading stuff on these forums makes it so clear how helpful a supplemental support space like this can be. Random unpaid strangers do good work every day.

As my kids say, it's "very lol." And to answer the very original question-- I think managing transference on one's own is possible and good, though I also think it's helpful to discuss it with your therapist if s/he's a good therapist. Sometimes bringing awkward things out in the open makes everything a little less awkward--much like coming out, if I may draw such a parallel!