This quote bothers me on so many levels. It makes the assumption that the therapist has extra sensory perceptions ('they know before you do'), insists that the client needs to divulge certain information (infantilizing the client instead of helping them become more autonomous), and tells the client they must fall in love with the therapist (narcissistic much?). So I wouldn't take any of it seriously.

I absolutely hate the emphasis many therapists put on 'transference'. I think it's often used by therapists as a way to absolve themselves for bad behaviour, or to deny a client's feelings as real. It's also a way to shut down a client's own instincts.

For example, telling a client they're experiencing negative transference when they got annoyed that a therapist was 20 minutes late (completely valid reaction). Or telling a client their romantic feelings are not real and just a projection. (You might not be attracted to a therapist if you saw their outside-of-work self, but you're attracted to whatever they're giving off in the room with you.)

I think it's more useful to go into therapy knowing that you carry patterns of relating into EVERY relationship you have, and some of those will probably play out with your therapist. It might be useful to discuss those. I know it is for me.

But you need a therapist who can recognise that 'transference' doesn't mean they get off the hook when they've messed up. They also need to recognise that even the blankest of blank slate therapists project something of themselves, and sometimes the client is reacting to THAT, not something else.

The author of the quote doesn't seem to recognise any of this, which scares me.