I feel like he is the problem in this situation. He has been massively inconsistent with lots of different boundaries, not least out of session contact and this is a recipe for disaster with a client who struggles with attachment.

It is not okay for the therapist to invite this kind of situation through confusing and unclear guidance on what's okay and what's not, then to shame the client for overstepping. Not okay at all. This has been his way all the time he has been working with you. And I see you more anxious and more frequently expressing than I have ever seen you before. It worries me that his ridiculous policy of so-called honesty and his lack of decision making on boundaries are doing more damage than good. I know I see it differently to many other posters but I just don't see how his policy is helping you to feel empowered and heard. He is just re-shaming you like all the other 'male authority figures' as far as I can tell.