Well I was talking to my bf about us...if I can get back to usa...I may still be depressed and suffer from ptsd from my experiences over here. If I am too depressed I may not be able to get out of bed for days....he said he cannot accept that, that depression is no excuse for staying in bed. I have decided to be friends with him only. I cannot accept him as my bf if he cannot accept me as I am. Then he's not worth it.