Michael,

In re Psalm #111 (how very... fortuitous!):

That’s it, that’s it, that’s it!

Searching.

But first, a story. (Think it will be short? Ha!)

In my small diocese, we had a quarterly three-day retreat for high-school students. Most attendees were Catholic but everyone was welcome. Attendance was limited to one retreat only... except for one male and one female facilitator at each retreat and I was fortunate to be a facilitator at numerous retreats.

I was fortunate, too, that my favorite Jesuit, Father Matt, was the retreat’s moderator. Like most priests in our diocese, he was Irish and he spoke, softly, with a thick Irish lilt. He smoked, stereotypically, a sweet aromatic tobacco in a fine briar pipe. He was tall and thin and his visage was chiseled and he was a handsome man. And he was, well, a Jesuit; a stereotypical Jesuit.

These retreats were common in the United States. They were called by various names and ours were named Search.

Long before I attended my first retreat I asked Fr. Matt about the name. I’m not going to attempt to quote him but I’ll say that he answered, ‘well, it’s about faith, isn’t it?’ Faith was a never-ending quest, a journey without end, a continuous search.

I can be rash and conceited and imply that my life’s conclusions should be shared by all. That’s one of my many faults and I apologize if I’ve let that fault color my rhetoric in this thread.

But.

My biggest failure here was failing to express my belief that we are forever searching for answers, large and small, and that we should never fail to forge ahead in pursuing our own personal answers. For me, it’s been a wild ride — the very finest roller coaster ever. I never meant to imply that my conclusions were conclusive — only that they were insanely random and based upon the delightful folly of randomness that I find so beautiful within every person and thing and thought that I’ve encountered.

I’m grateful that you used the word. (Ugh. My bladder finally died last week and I’m not finding catheterization kind!) I must continue dying within the metaphysical, I can’t accept final and precise answers, I want to believe in multiverses where you and I are discussing these matters in Greek (Or English poets who grew up on Greek (I’d have them sing in chorus, cheek to cheek)).

And, lord almighty, I don’t want to hurt anyone again.