Wow :-( So sorry you're having to experience all those things, apsl1985. I'm sorry about your grandma as well, very sad. I'm not sure which country you're in but there might be some agencies that can at least help you and your mother with food parcels? Just until you can somehow get by without them. Yes, look into that. It's not right that you and your mother are starving. It's not right at all. Hang in there, persevere, and stay strong, apsl1985. You'll get through this eventually, you'll see.