@Tucson
I have thought about doing that, but I think I am within 3 pounds of where I would like to be before I start tinkering. The other thing is that I keep having the next opportunity to burn major calories within a couple of days.

Loss of discipline worries me a lot. It is bizarre how I get in that state of mind where I will go ahead and crank up even further instead of shutting it down. When I was losing I was good at putting the brakes on. I think I have let the long paddles affect my thinking too much. It's interesting you mention training for the half; I did the same thing back then. I started eating a lot because I could; it would all get erased. But I wasn't tracking, just watching the scale. Then I tore up my knees and ballooned back up because I was conditioned to eating a lot again and wasn't burning it off.

What I really want to do is exercise some discipline, wipe out the excess and get a deficit of 1000 or so as a cushion to start tinkering.

And yes, I am paranoid because of the fear of getting back in the "don't care" mindset and gaining. I wish I could remain rational all the time. EDIT - I am doing a bit of that justification now; carb loading for a long afternoon paddle that is almost certain to happen at this point. I already logged a protein bar I will eat on the water for dinner and I am going way over, but may cancel the whole thing out.

Actually, probably very paranoid. I was surprised to see how well I seem to be doing in a candid photo taken on a paddling outing a few days ago. At first glance, it looks like I am doing very well. If you look closer, some loose skin with a little fat is spilling over the front. Just a little, but it's there.