I have been thinking a lot about suicide lately. What it would be like. Whether I would have to ability to go through with it. How I would do it. I feel that if I discuss this with my therapist tonight it's going to end in me in a hospital. Why is this topic so out of bounds. Or is it? Maybe the fear of talking about it is in my head. Does anyone talk to their therapist about it? Hell, I'm afraid of bringing it up here. Maybe this topic is against the rules. I'm afraid of hospitalization or a meds increase. I very much don't want either.