Wow incredible.
After one complete year in which I thought I finally would start to figure it out and get better, I am now back here with the EXACT. SAME. f*CKING. PROBLEMS.
I really am completely dumb and incapable and I have no future like this.
I could as well kill myself tomorrow. I am a waste of life. being me is a punishment.
If I killed myself, everyone would benefit from it, including myself.
The only thing that has stopped me so far from doing it is that I would even be too dumb to kill myself and I'd probably end up disabled in a hospital for the rest of my life.