I'm posting an update because there are some wonderful souls here.

The last time I posted a thread (I think) was after one single dose of Abilify. It tried to kill me! A 15 mg dose ruined two and a half days of my life. Nauseous, and just... off. So I took no more after that.

I was also prescribed Trazodone to help me sleep - 50 mg cut in half; so, 25 mg. It didn't help me get but a couple hours of fitful sleep, so I was going to quit that too. My wife convinced me to try the full dose, but agreed that I didn't have to take the Abilify. The full dose of Trazodone gives me about 4-6 hours sleep.

One of us (I think my wife because I don't like talking on the phone) called the clinic to tell them about my experience with Abilify. Well, they finally got me on the phone to find out what was going on. They asked if I would be willing to take a half dose. I said, "Heck no!" and I told them I was taking the full dose of Trazodone and that it kinda sucks for what it was prescribed for.

Today I got another call from the clinic asking how I was doing, and if I would be willing to try Seroquel (spelling?), or if I'd rather be referred to the psychiatric nurse practitioner. If you've been following my adventures you'll recall that, as a poor person that lives in a country that can't afford to make sure everyone has medical care (God bless the U.S.A.), we found a clinic that can afford to help on a sliding scale. But, I saw a general nurse practitioner, who said that we are "obviously dealing with a mood disorder" and prescribed the aforementioned killer, Abilify.

I agreed to be referred. I'm waiting for a call about an appointment.

Here's the rub: after 20 years living (if you can call it that) unmedicated, and then having such a horrid experience with Abilify, I am reluctant in the extreme to try again.

I'm really just venting here. I don't remember such adverse reactions two decades ago when I was taking things like lithium, tegretol, paxil, (I don't know how to spell any of this garbage) and whatever meds that I can no longer remember the name of.

I do think that I have been in a killer Mixed State for a while now, and I read that they prescribe atypical antipsychotics for just such a reason. I'm worried about Seroquel.

Can anyone relate to this over-long post? Can you give me some anecdotal information? Um... help?