I can relate to some of the things you've said before about being independent and responsible in the rest of your life and then having seemingly uncharacteristic emotional responses to your therapist. For the first few years that I saw my T, I was very conscientious about following what I thought were "the rules" and not expressing negative feelings about her and trying to be a model client at all times. We made some progress on dealing with external events in my life during that period, but it was only once I started opening up and being able to share really difficult and complicated things (often about my view of myself or her or our relationship) that therapy really took off for me. There is a level of safety with her and a level of commitment to our mutual connection that has started to show me what I missed in childhood that has kept me stuck for so long.